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About Varied / Artist Aimee28/Female/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 13 Years
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Newest Deviations

Beauty in the Dissonance :icontheaatherea:TheaAtherea 1 0 Time is All Around - Summer :icontheaatherea:TheaAtherea 9 0 Spirit is Fire :icontheaatherea:TheaAtherea 6 0 Time is All Around - Spring :icontheaatherea:TheaAtherea 5 1 Time is All Around - Winter :icontheaatherea:TheaAtherea 6 0 The Queen :icontheaatherea:TheaAtherea 1 2 Warmth :icontheaatherea:TheaAtherea 5 2 What Your Soul Sings :icontheaatherea:TheaAtherea 3 1 The Moon Tells Me a Secret :icontheaatherea:TheaAtherea 5 0 Time is All Around - Autumn :icontheaatherea:TheaAtherea 13 10 Vault Aimee :icontheaatherea:TheaAtherea 9 8 Gaze :icontheaatherea:TheaAtherea 8 11 Par Avion :icontheaatherea:TheaAtherea 0 0 Anxiety :icontheaatherea:TheaAtherea 0 9 Liquid Luck :icontheaatherea:TheaAtherea 4 2 Wisdom, Courage, Power :icontheaatherea:TheaAtherea 8 13

Favourites

Zelda :iconbabakinkin:BabaKinkin 1,199 50 SNOW and FIRE :iconapolar:Apolar 104 18 Moon road :iconfear-sas:fear-sAs 1,567 52 Peace Run :iconfionahsieh:FionaHsieh 967 33 Arcanine :iconfionahsieh:FionaHsieh 952 21 Bright Earth :iconfionahsieh:FionaHsieh 1,182 31 Hyrule Breath of the Wild :iconcoreyart7:coreyart7 1,289 37 Haunting :iconnaturaphile:Naturaphile 12 11 ATLA :iconquirkilicious:Quirkilicious 8,215 204 The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild Fanart :iconfabianrensch:fabianrensch 1,784 74 The Reader :iconcharlie-bowater:Charlie-Bowater 4,302 112 Feroe :iconflora-silve:Flora-Silve 2,234 54 ONE-PIECE :iconmars-hill:Mars-Hill 95 9 Mirror Ball :iconmars-hill:Mars-Hill 117 17 Mononoke Hime :iconastri-lohne:Astri-Lohne 9,910 295 Watercolor Girls :icongabbyd70:gabbyd70 1,288 135

Activity


deviantID

TheaAtherea's Profile Picture
TheaAtherea
Aimee
Artist | Varied
United States
My name is Aimee and I am a poet, a storyteller, a coffee addict, a gamer, a jewelry-maker-in-training, and a student of life. Feel free to drop me a message anytime!

- I don't thank for faves. It's nothing personal, I just don't see the point in cluttering people's pages.

~~~~~

Favorite Stamp by Ravechu I Support Animal Rights Stamp by AshlieNelson I support writing English by FragileReveries
I Sniff Books by MademoiselleGrief Love Stamp by Kezzi-Rose ST: Anxiety Disorder Awareness by JSTradArt
Firefly Stamp by ravekitten The Triforce by fricken-pimp Avatar the Last Airbender intro stamp by stampsstamps
Interests
I don't know why I'm writing here but I guess I need to vent somewhere, and if anyone happens to read this and has advice or insight, I could use some right now.

My death anxiety has been worse than ever lately. "Death anxiety" doesn't even feel like a strong enough term for how I'm feeling. I've been averaging 2 or 3 panic attacks a day. After the first particularly bad one, I ended up going to the ER because I was having chest pain and my blood pressure was almost180/110. That was nearly two weeks ago. The ER doctor wrote me a prescription for Ativan, which was supposed to help calm me down. I've been trying to ration them to last long enough until my regular anxiety medication starts working again (I was off of it during my pregnancy and doing well up until recently), but they're not helping much anyway.

I feel like I'm going mad, like the pressure and tension are forcing me apart at the seams, and I'm only holding it together because I have Zelda to take care of. Otherwise, I'd be sleeping my days away or drinking myself silly in an effort to forget my own mortality.

I don't understand how the vast majority of people (particularly non-religious people) can go about their lives and not worry about the fact that all of it is going to end and no one knows what comes after -- whether it's just oblivion, non-existence, nothingness. It doesn't help to consider the fact that I must have experienced said oblivion before I was born. It doesn't help to think that I'll be dead and I won't know the difference. It just makes me feel sick and it makes it hard to breathe. It's not something I can comprehend, and it sends me into full-blown panic mode. Just writing this is physically painful and turning me into a ball of tension and anxiety.

I keep trying to tell myself that I've got decades left. Other than my blood pressure, I'm in relatively good health. I should be happy. I'm living the life I always hoped for. I have a beautiful daughter, a supportive husband, a comfortable home -- a good, stable life. And my mind is preoccupied with the fact that it'll all end one day. I'm too busy worrying about my inevitable death that I'm barely living. And other than hoping that my medication kicks in soon, I don't know what to do about that. Distraction only works for so long, talking myself down when the panic sets in is fruitless, and talking about my anxiety seems to make it worse. I could barely get the words out when I was trying to explain to my new doctor why I was on anxiety medication to begin with and why I suddenly need it again.

But anyway, I've just been needing to get this out. Maybe there's someone here who understands the feeling and has learned to cope in some way I haven't thought of. More likely, this will go unread, because dA just isn't the place it used to be. But I needed to say it.

Comments


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:iconthe-angry-lemon:
The-Angry-Lemon Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2017  New Deviant Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the watch! You probably recognized me. :blush:
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:icontheaatherea:
TheaAtherea Featured By Owner Edited Mar 20, 2017   General Artist
A kind little forum bird gave me your new name. :)
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:iconthe-angry-lemon:
The-Angry-Lemon Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2017  New Deviant Hobbyist Writer
I'm glad to know that some people even care.
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:icontheaatherea:
TheaAtherea Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2017   General Artist
You're an actual nice person, in a forum that is quickly filling with trolls. It's gotten so bad just in the past month that even I've been considering leaving the forums, and I've been here almost as long as you've been alive. :P

If you do come back to the forums, I strongly suggest avoiding the Complaints forum. It's so incredibly toxic there (of course, Complaints regulars think that's "fun").
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconnaturaphile:
Naturaphile Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2017  Hobbyist Photographer
Hi! I appreciate very much your kindness towards me. Right now it means a lot.
Reply
:icontheaatherea:
TheaAtherea Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2017   General Artist
:hug:
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:iconspellboundcanvas:
SpellboundCanvas Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2017  Student Digital Artist
You have a pretty little face
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:icontheaatherea:
TheaAtherea Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2017   General Artist
:stare:
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:iconchickenraptors:
ChickenRaptors Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Aww traumatized pittie mix puppy. DRAMATIC FEAR!!
thats so adorable. i love dogs haha i bet he runs around the house like nope mama nope nope

b/c i closed the thread!
Reply
:icontheaatherea:
TheaAtherea Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2016   General Artist
I think at this point it's a mixture of fear and playing, because he thinks it's just hilarious when I chase after him for any reason. :P It's the same reaction he has to the vacuum -- sort of scared, barking and jumping around, but madly wagging his tail like it's fun.
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